Sanity Not Included
by justagirl8225
Summary: To finish their final year of graduate school, all they had to do was survive. A/U. Includes Lita, Trish, Mickie, Victoria, Maria, Jeff, HHH, Orton and more. Please R
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any person, place or thing that you may recognize.

**Summary: **To get through their final year of graduate school, all they had to do was survive. How hard could that really be?

**Characters: **Lita, Trish, Mickie, Victoria, Lilian, Maria... guys will include Hunter, Randy, Jericho, Jeff, Edge. Others are being considered. Pairings are being debated.

**-x-x-x-**

Lita Dumas swept her hair back from her face, settling on the unopened box in the living room. "So, who's idea was it to move out of the dorms again?"

Trish Stratus shrugged, "umm.. Vicki? Or maybe Lil?"

Lita arched an eyebrow, "which explains why neither one of them are here, helping us unpack."

"Well, when most of this stuff is ours.." Trish shook her head, blonde locks pulled into a ponytail. "If you want to take a break, let's take a break."

The twenty four year old easily nodded her agreement, moving from the box to sit on the floor. "I mean, don't get me wrong.. This house is great but.."

"I know Li," Trish bit her lower lip, dark eyes assessing the mess that was their living room. "If we don't get a fifth room-mate.. We'll have to take on extra jobs to pay the rent."

The redhead nodded, "Vicki said she was going to take care of that, right?"

"Yeah, last she told me anyway. I think she said something about her cousin moving to the city." Trish bit her lower lip in thought, a habit she had picked up from her life long best friend. "If it all comes down to it, we can advertise on campus."

Lita snorted, "I'd rather take my chances with putting an advertisement in the Sunday paper."

Trish arched an eyebrow, "oh like that would be any better.. Do you know how many perverts would answer an ad like ours? I mean, come on Li.. We're four single women, living in one house."

"Right, because that just screams orgy every weekend." Lita smirked, "we could even sell tickets.. Bring the wife and kiddies... Come, see the show."

The blonde woman tossed a dust rag at her friend, "Li.. that was just wrong."

The redhead shrugged it off, "chalk it up to brotherly influence... But honestly Trish.. We're graduate students."

"And your point would be?"

"In high school, I dated.. My first two years of college I dated." Lita made an open gesture with her hands, "and by the time my third year was over? I bounced back to being a dateless nerd. I spend most of my free time studying when I'm not working."

Trish let out a sigh, "well yeah but.. I haven't fared much better."

Lita made a face, "that's because all the guys you dated were jerks."

The blonde woman opened her mouth to argue, only to shut it...a thoughtful look on her face before she nodded. "Men. Do I know how to pick 'em."

"Or not, in the many cases of 'my date sent me running away in fear'."

Trish released her blonde locks from the confines of the ponytail. "Well.. This is a new year."

"Actually? The new year started in January.. Remember the party we had to--"

"Smart ass." Trish flipped her hair over her shoulder, "as I was saying.. This is a new _academic_ year. In fact, it's our last year...we just need to get through this year and then we have our Master's degrees--"

"And a lot of student loans.."

"So it'll all be worth it." She pulled her hair back into a low ponytail. "Break is over, let's get back to work."

Lita grumbled under her breath about best friends actually being slave drivers.. The two women getting back to the unpacking they had been in the midst of.. Granted, they had gotten quite a bit done already, but they still had to unpack everything for the kitchen, go grocery shopping and get their rooms ready.. And as the day went on, both Lita and Trish couldn't help but wonder...just where were their room-mates?

**-x-x-x-**

Trish set her cell phone back on the charger, their pizza would supposedly be there in half an hour but.. One could never be too certain about that. Still, she and Lita had managed to get most of the boxes in the living room unpacked, they were still waiting on the moving truck to get there with furniture but...they had managed to accomplish a lot that day. And there was still no sign of their room-mates. Both Lilian and Victoria had promised they would be at the house today, but, so far...there had been no sign of either woman.

"Li? Someone's at the door."

"Can't you get it? I'm trying to figure out how to fit this stupid stereo.."

"Lita, please?"

The redhead scowled at the door, complying with her friend's request anyway. "If this person isn't bearing something edible? They aren't setting one foot in this house." She wiped her hands on her shorts, peering through the stained glass before she opened the door. "Where have you been all day?"

Victoria Varon made a face, "stuck at work.. My boss took it upon himself to have me cover Sherri's section."

"Ouch," Lita stepped back from the door, "do you have food?"

The taller woman grinned, "better.." She gestured behind herself, "meet our fifth and final room-mate."

Hazel eyes swept past her friend, taking in the woman who stood behind her.. She didn't look too threatening.. "I'm Lita."

The blonde woman smiled, "Mickie."

"I'd say have a seat but.. we're still missing a few key pieces of furniture." Lita canted her head towards her friend, "have you heard from Lil at all?"

Victoria shook her head, "I think she got stuck at Student Affairs."

The redhead shuddered dramatically, "I never want to deal with that old dragon again." A blink, "why is she at Student Affairs? Is she transferring out of the program or something?"

"I have no idea, Li." Victoria set her purse on the floor, "as I said.. I think she got stuck there, but I don't know if she did."

"Right," the redhead offered Mickie a smile, "I'd offer food or something to drink but.. The pizza guy hasn't gotten here yet and we haven't had the chance to go grocery shopping today."

Mickie waved it off easily, "no worries.. if I can survive off of instant noodles and tap water for most of the academic year, then I can survive anything."

Trish grinned from her spot in the kitchen, "well that's perfect.. We had to live like that for most of last year."

Victoria gestured between the two, "Mickie.. That's Trish Stratus, the redhead is Lita Dumas and we obviously know each other.. The fourth room-mate is Lilian Garcia." She nodded back to her cousin, "this is my cousin, Mickie James."

"Should any wierd guy fall asleep on our doorstep, it'll be Lita's half brother."

"Highly annoying and perverted half brother," Victoria amended for Trish, "but he's harmless.. For the most part."

Lita rolled her eyes, "Hunter is going to kill you both for that."

Victoria arched an eyebrow, "you say it yourself, all the time."

"Well yeah, but, that's because we're related."

Mickie smirked, "he sounds just like my next door neighbor.. Back home, anyway."

Lita beamed, "good.. Then you'll be able to keep him in his proper place."

"Then that would be Victoria's closet," Mickie stated solemnly, "or Victoria's bed."

"Mickie!"

Lita and Trish exchanged a look, the blonde woman speaking first. "I think you're gonna fit in just fine."

**End Prologue**

Note: this is yet another story that I have up at my fic. journal. For the most part, the plot will stay the same but other things (such as characters) will be revised. I have about five parts of this written so far and hopefully I can pick this one up again. I can't make promises as far as pairings go, but there are ones that I do prefer. Also, can't make promises as to who else will show up in this story, but you never know.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any person, place or thing that you may recognize.

**-x-x-x-**

By the time the pizza got there, Victoria's face was nearly the same color Lita's hair.. The only thing that kept Lita and Trish from telling stories, was the fact that they had equal amounts of information on each other, hence equal amounts of blackmail material.. And the only thing that saved Victoria from further embarrasment was the arrival of the pizza...the four women settling themselves on the floor in the living room.

Victoria set down her paper plate, "obviously we need a table, a couch.."

"Television, vcr, dvd player and the rest of the stereo system are at my mom's." Lita swept her hair back from her face, "we do have a dining room but, are we going to use it?"

Trish arched an eyebrow, "why wouldn't we?"

"Do you intend on cooking often?" The redhead questioned her best friend, "honestly Trish.. You couldn't make cereal if you tried."

"I can _so_ make cereal."

Lita smirked, "how exactly do you make cereal?"

Before Trish could reply, Mickie spoke up... her expression completely serious. "You put the box next to the milk. I saw it on the Food Channel."

Victoria rolled her eyes at the two blonde women, "you two are not going anywhere near that kitchen. We know Lil can cook, but, I don't want to put all the pressure on her."

Trish nodded to the redhead, "she can cook, she's just too lazy."

Lita stuck out her tongue, "I'm not lazy.. I just work more hours. This year isn't much better."

Mickie canted her head, "what are you majoring in?"

"Music Therapy, my minor was in Speech-Language Pathology," she shrugged before placing her palms flat on the hardwood floor. "I couldn't make up my mind between Music Therapy and Speech Therapy."

Trish wiped at the corners of her mouth before stacking her plate with Victoria's. "Lilian is majoring in Early Childhood and Special Education.. I'm majoring in Social Work."

"And, as you know Mick," Victoria stretched out her legs, "I'm majoring in Occupational Therapy."

The blonde woman nodded slowly, "is that how you all met?"

Lita gestured between herself and Trish, "we grew up together.. Next door neighbors actually." She nodded over to Victoria, "we met her at Freshman Orientation...kinda."

Victoria nearly blushed, "I met Li through her brother."

"He was hitting on her," Trish supplied in a stage whisper, "he stopped hitting on me.. Sophomore year of high school?"

"Something like that," Lita conceded after a moments pause.. "Or summer between Sophomore and Junior."

Mickie frowned in thought, "so he's older then you?"

The redhead nodded, "by two years.. We have the same mom." A beat passed, "he's in the medical program."

"And how did you guys meet Lilian?"

"Freshman Orientation," Lita spoke again, "we were all in the group for future students of Steinhardt."

Trish sent her a questioning look, "what are you majoring in Mickie?"

"Law," the blonde woman shook her head, "but not by my choice.. My dad is a lawyer, my mom is a law professor so, naturally, I had to follow in their footsteps. If there's anything good about it, at least I'm on my own now."

Trish bit her lower lip in thought, "that sounds like Adam actually.. Only, both of his parents are lawyers. He's in the pre-law program too. Well, he's starting it this year since he took a year off before college.."

Mickie brightened slightly, "then I won't be the only degenerate law student. I took a year off before college, basically did nothing."

Trish, Victoria and Lita exchanged a look...Trish speaking first: "Are you single?"

**-x-x-x-**

While they didn't have their living room or kitchen furnishings, they at least had bedroom furniture.. The four women calling it a night, but, not before Lilian finally got home. She explained that she had been volunteering that day at the hospital and she would've called, but, they got extremely backed up. In any case, the room-mates parted ways downstairs; Trish, Victoria and Mickie heading to the second floor while Lilian went up to the attic bedroom since she was paying second most in rent. Lita, who was paying the most in rent, had the coveted downstairs bedroom...which also happened to be the biggest.. But, no sooner had the redhead changed into her sleeping clothes, this time a pair of boy shorts and a t-shirt reading: Sarcasm keeps you from telling people what you're really thinking...there was a knock at the door. And a rather persistent one at that. Before she moved from her room, she grabbed  
he baseball bat that her brother insisted she take..

Lita blinked at the figure she saw through the stained glass on the door. Setting the baseball bat down before she opened it. "What are you doing here?"

Hunter managed to look somewhat sheepish, "I'm staying at the dorms."

"So?"

"Dorms aren't open yet."

Lita scowled, "and you couldn't go find someone else to bother?"

The blonde man shrugged, "I don't have anywhere else to go."

The redhead frowned, but stepped back from the door, the baseball bat still in hand. "I invite you in, nimrod."

Hunter smiled, motioning for the pair behind him to enter the house first. "I love you too, sis."

Jeff Hardy went first, unphased by the redheads antics, taking the baseball bat from her as he entered.

Randy Orton blinked, the man still standing on the doorstep. "And when exactly did your sister get unbelievably scary?"

Lita glanced back over her shoulder, "I've always been like this, you've just missed it."

Now he seemed really hesitant to take another step, Hunter reaching back to grab his elbow. "Just go inside, she won't hurt you."

The redhead retreated for a moment, to shut the door to her room, "so, how many unwanted houseguests are there tonight, hmm?"

"Uhh.."

Lita rolled her eyes at her brother, "you're in the pre-med program at NYU and yet, you haven't mastered kindergarten math?"

Hunter rolled his eyes right back, "Well there's us three here.. Adam and Dave were following us. But, I'm not sure where they are now.."

"Oh that's really comforting, so Adam and Dave might be wandering around New York City?" Lita crossed her arms over her chest, glancing between the three. "If one of you has something edible, you can stay.. If not," she pointed back to the front door, "don't let the door hit your ass on the way out."

Randy blinked, "you aren't just scary.. You're terrifying."

"Well, considering that it's almost midnight and some of us do have to get up early in the morning." Victoria ran a hand through her hair as she joined the four in the living room, "it's late, why are you idiots here?"

Lita thumbed over to her brother, "numbnuts apparently forgot to find a temporary place to stay until the dorms are ready." She gestured next between the two dark haired males, "as for Frick and Frack? I'm not really sure."

"Peachy," the raven haired woman sighed, "did you bring food? Or better yet...are you three busy tomorrow?"

The guys exchanged wary looks, Hunter speaking first. "And if we are?"

Lita smirked, "cancel your plans. We need to get our furniture moved in."

Hunter groaned, Randy looked ready to protest while Jeff held up a grocery bag. "We have ice cream."

"Is it melted?"

"Not quite, but--"

Victoria flopped down on the floor, "then put it in the freezer." She waited until Jeff had moved before adding: "and no, it doesn't mean you're out of helping us with the furniture."


End file.
